Life Lesson for Mommy #37:

homemade-deodorant

Making You own Deodorant

It’s no longer news that aluminum zirconium is a conversational ingredient in deodorants for both men and women. It’s been linked in studies to Alzheimer and Breast Cancer- two things that no one wants to get in the future. The way aluminum works is to “dry out sweat by injecting aluminum ions in the cells that line the sweat ducts. When the aluminum ions are drawn into the cells, water flows in; the cells begin to swell, squeezing the ducts closed so sweat cannot get out,” according to the Julie Gabriel, The Green Beauty Guide.

Which means, it’s stopping something as natural as sweating from happening, or inhibiting it. Which is pretty unnatural. Your body sweats to regulate body temperature and to sweat off toxins from you body.

While there is research that the FDA and our Canadian equivalent use to state that the use of this ingredient is perfectly safe, there are enough studies out there to suggest otherwise- that it’s not safe.

We all try to limit our chemical contact throughout our lifespan, hoping to reduce our chances and our families chances of getting such illnesses like cancer. Deodorant is one of those things that should be in your ‘reconsider’ list.

Instead you can buy healthy, non aluminum options, or try making your own!

Here is a common recipe I found online, that works rather well. Depending on how much you sweat, what season it is and if you’re pregnant (like me) you may have to reapply. But the good thing is that both men and women can use it so no need to buy a bunch of Dove deodorants and Old spice up your body.

The part I love the most, is adding different oil’s, I chose to use Vanilla and Orange, and I have to admit, I couldn’t help but smell myself every now and then, because it smelled so good! And the best part was no horrid water resistant film to scrape off my armpits in the shower.

Here is the recipe, you can change up the oils your use to make a stronger or lighter smell. You can make this mixture and put them into some cleaned out deodorant cases, or put them in a glass or steal jar for easy use, but this mixture does hardened or softened time to time depending on how hot your house is (mainly because of the coconut oil) but not enough to feel oily or loose.

  • 3 Tbsp of Coconut oil
  • 3 Tbsp of Baking Soda
  • 2 Tbsp of Shea Butter
  • 2 Tbsp of Arrowroot
  • Few drops of Essential Oils

Good Luck!
😀

Life Lesson for Mommy #36:

Olive_oil_bowl1

Natural make up remover.

I have really REALLY sensitive skin! Even small amounts of the wrong chemical can irritate it. So here’s what I do to take off make up.

Bottle of Aloe water (not drink and not gel) or warm water with a green tea bag+ a couple of teaspoons olive oil. If you have a bottle of Aloe water, drink 1/3 of the water and then add 1/3 cup of olive oil.

You have to mix/ shake quickly and then pour right away on to a cotton ball or makeup pad. Wipe face gently and very slowly, leave on the eyes for a few seconds before wiping away eye makeup.
Works for me!

Good Luck

Life Lesson For Mommey #35:

Parenting Techniques

There are several different types of parenting styles and techniques out there. And when I was searching for the type that would fit my daughter, I realized there are so many types, how do I know which one is right for me and my kid.

I like the “Western” style of parenting. Where the child is given loads of love, positive reinforcement and encouragement, no shaming, no hitting, no screaming. But is this really realistic. I mean especially during the time after my car accident, I was really struggling with pain and some emotional issues that I was having, it was a tough time dealing with myself. Add a angry toddler who was suddenly cut off from breastfeeding and no play time with me; it was even harder. It wasn’t her fault that she was misbehaving, and while my husband was great in dealing with both her and I, and a business; things just got out of hand many times.

I found myself, when she wasn’t listening, getting more and more frustrated. And eventually I would yell, or send her to a time out looking very angry myself. She could feel those feelings of mine, my anxiety, my anger towards her misbehaving and I felt horrible.

This isn’t the kind of parent I wanted to be. It only made me more mentally exhausted. I really had to learn some techniques to deal with my pain and my mental place. So the quest to find a parenting style that could work with our current situation began.

And I found it. Ethnic parenting. Combine with the ‘Western style” I found a good blend.

I needed her to understand where I was on certain things, and what I was willing to compromise on. I realized I was being too strict, but not setting a proper schedule for her also made her frustrated. Because our days were so different everyday with appointments and business, she didn’t have a ‘quiet time’ or a ‘reading time’. I even got her watching youtube programs and playing games on my phone- which I swore I would not do. And here I was doing it. It was out of circumstance and desperation, but learning different things from these 2 parenting styles I learned to create a balance that worked for me and her.

So for example, when she watched a program on my laptop, this was a good time for me to cuddle up to her, make funny voices talk along side the program engaging her without having to move around too much- which was perfect for my neck and hip! I was still spending time with her, not the ideal way, but at least still interacting and having fun. I would bring her stuffed animals to program time and ask questions as we watched. It actually ended up teaching her a lot about behaviors, the right things to do and the wrong things to do. It was actually very beneficial.

“Quiet Time” was what I gave her when she was just too out of hand from being tired but not wanting to sleep. She stopped taking naps basically after my car accident because we simply couldn’t invest the time to get her to take a nap. So another bad habit started from it. But I discovered quiet time.

It was great! Instead of giving her time out or threatening her with a time out, which just made her more angry and led to a stressful tantrum; which was hard on my neck, Quiet time was great. She would sit down with a few books, and we would cuddle together and read them. Like with the programs, I’d ask her about the pictures, to count the different things like flowers etc It calmed her down and made it a lot easier for me to sit with her on the couch then wrestle her on the floor taking her to time out.

You’re probably wondering where does the ethnic part come in? Well it comes in here. Being stern. I let Omera get away with a lot. In order for me to establish things like quiet time, and for her to understand there were certain things I would not compromise with; I had to get ethnic on her.

When I say put away all your toys, it has to mean put away all your toys. No compromise and no clapping and cheering her on for every little toy she put away. I thought I was being positive and encouraging her, what I was doing was creating a self entitled kid. That all she had to do was put in little effort in doing something  (what she was supposed to do anyway), and get praised for it.

So I had to stop. The ethnic way is clear, I tell her a couple of times, if she drags her feet or doesn’t do it, then I take her for a time out. Or I tell her that if I pick up her toys, I take them away. That usually did the job. She learned very quickly that I was serious and that I was not going to keep telling her over and over again, giving her multiple chances, and in the end accept her apology but no change would happen. I knew, that I had to take control of the parenting here. I’m not her friend, I’m her mother. And if I want to raise a decent person, then I really need to teach her that when I say something, she should listen.

Unlike the Western style, I didn’t feel bad about raising my voice a couple of notches. I felt more in control of the situation especially when she refused to take me seriously. I wasn’t yelling but I wasn’t using the ‘calm voice’. My voice is projected clear and assertive so Omera understood the difference in when a person is upset and when they are not. Some people might not agree with that, but it’s what worked for me, and it didn’t change her emotionally; she just learned to respect me a bit better and learned that I was in charge.

Ethnic part of this is being in charge and owning the situation and teaching her to own it as well. Not over glorifying every small thing she does, not making an issue out of every small achievement. I learned to give her positive reinforcement with just a simple, good job. Instead of changing my voice to something like a high pitched squeal, I just pet her head now and say good job.

The ethnic technique really helped when my husband took her to our place of prayer during friday prayers. In a mosque with so many other people worshiping she still would wonder around and try to climb my husband and made noise. It was disturbing other people. Despite what other people were saying, and that was to talk to her after the prayer was done, or to stop taking her; I implemented our ‘new blended’ technique. We would interrupt our prayer at the mosque or at home, and make her sit down quietly or follow our actions, or walk her to a time out without making a peep. The reason I didn’t talk to her, nor did my husband as we walked her to the time out or when we stopped to make her sit down; is because she already knew from the countless times we told her that she was wrong; but was pressing her luck. Kids do that, they like to test. And she was used to us just lecturing her, but this time we simply would take her hand, or gently make her sit down.

She actually responded to this really well. While others in the mosque would tell my husband to not interrupt his prayers to do this, I insisted he do it. And voila! In 1 week, from being consistent at home and at the mosque, she stop making noise, followed the prayer along well; and didn’t even try moving away from the prayer mat.

I applied this to eating out. But unlike the mosque where it’s supposed to be a quiet place so I stayed quiet even when teaching her, the restaurant is different. I could talk to her and tell her what was going to happen. If she sat down properly like a big girl, she could have her programs to watch, if she didn’t; then her father would take her back into the car and she can sit there until she is ready to come back in. And we can do that as many times as she needed. Eventually she realized this wasn’t fun, it’s more fun to sit and watch her program and eat her dinner. She picked this up fast.

There are other parts of this, but I think you get the hint.

Be calm, but be a parent, you’re there to teach her to be a good person; not just a good child. You’re there to hold her hand, but let her learn on her own. If you guide her every move, you’re actually hindering them. To raise a moral well behaved child, means being assertive when you need to, making the proper exceptions instead of being inflexible. Teaching her what good behavior could mean for her, not physical awards like I was handing out, but a hug, a kiss, praise that’s worthy of the effort she put in. Sometimes we over-glorify their achievements too much because of the “Western Technique”  creates a spoiled kid who thinks that they should get praise for every thing they do right. And that’s not what you want to create.

So mix up some different styles, and be balanced and consistent.

Good Luck
😀

How to breastfeed appropriately.

n-BREASTFEEDING-large570

This article is one of my favorites! It’s very hilarious how ridiculous the world can be when breastfeeding in public!

You can read below or visit the link to read it there!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bunmi-laditan/how-to-breastfeed-appropriately_b_5530806.html

So you’ve decided to breastfeed. Fantastic! Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to nourish your baby while establishing early bonding. Unfortunately, breast milk comes out of breasts so there are a few ground rules that we need to cover.

As you know, (female) modesty is a highly protected value in modern society. Unless you’re a magazine cover model or in a music video, exposing your female udder flesh is entirely inappropriate. Science has proven that breasts are basically large vaginas. Only you and your partner should ever see them. Just because your breast-ginas are full of milk, doesn’t mean you get to wave them around.

“I don’t expose much when I breastfeed.” This is a common excuse made by exhibitionist mothers. Just knowing that your nipples may become visible at any time is offensive and a temptation to married or newly engaged men.

Real life stories:

“I saw a woman breastfeeding in a park and was overcome with desire. I left my wife the same day.” – John, 34, Nebraska

“I was a married man with eight kids. Last month I saw a woman nursing her infant at a park. I am now married to her.” – Luke, 45, South Dakota

“Two years ago I was a successful business executive handling important transactions. Then I saw a breastfeeding mother. I became obsessed with nipples and lost my job. I can’t make ends meet.” – Anthony, 45

None of us would urinate in public (sober), so please show us the same courtesy and release your mommy nectar out of sight.

Note: Peeing in public and breastfeeding in public are identical because in both cases liquid is coming out. Crying in public is different because it’s happening above the neck. If you can breastfeed out of your eye sockets, be my guest.

Here are a few tips that mothers should and need to adopt to help the rest of us feel comfortable.

Tip #1: Use a cover. Every time. There are many fancy ones on the market. Damask. Lace-trimmed. Or how about a swaddling cloth (if it’s good enough to warm the baby Jesus, it’s good enough for your kid)? Statistics show that human beings love being in confined spaces. Babies are on their way to becoming full humans, so this applies to them as well. I personally eat many of my meals under a loosely draped fitted sheet in my bedroom and find it quite enjoyable.

Please do not use summer as an excuse to flash your flesh-toned milk bags. Just last week I ate an entire Italian sub under a handmade quilt in 90 degree weather skin-to-skin with a close friend to simulate summer breastfeeding. Were we hot? Yes. Were we uncomfortable? Yes. Did one of us briefly lose consciousness? Yes. Did we subject anyone to seeing nipples? NO.

Do not be fooled, the importance of air circulation has been exaggerated by politicians. Ten out of 10 babies reported loving the sensation of breathing repeat CO2. There are women who can breastfeed without anyone knowing what they’re doing. If they can do it, so can you because all babies are the same.

If you have a rebellious/bad child who pulls your cover off in a desperate attempt to breathe fresh air and see the world around them, consider some home training. It’s your job to teach them right from wrong. Should your original sin infant not respond to discipline and still reach out for new oxygen, place two little straws in their nose scuba-style so that cool air can be retrieved from under a burlap cover without making us all barf from the sight of your boob flesh.

Care about decency? Go the extra mile and prevent wind from flying up and exposing your naked nipples by sewing small weights into the corners of your nursing cover.

Tip #2: Use a bathroom. Who doesn’t love a public restroom? They’re full of exotic scents and sounds! The next time your needy baby starts fussing for a taste of chest drippings, run to the nearest stall or city outhouse.

Nursing standing up while trying to avoid bacteria and holding a wriggling child has the added benefit of strengthening your core muscles. That postpartum tummy will be gone before you know it, making you more attractive to the general public. It’s summer, after all — bikini season!

No hook for the diaper bag? Put it on the floor or in the sink. When you get home, wipe it down with a bleach and water solution to remove any fecal matter.

If you’ve used your uterus more than once and have a second, or worse, third child in tow, ask the critters to join you in the stall for their safety. It’s like a party! Don’t worry, if you’ve raised them right they won’t touch anything.

Considerate babies nurse for between 10-15 minutes, so you’ll be out of there before you know it. If you’ve been cursed with a baby who nurses for 20 minutes or more at a time, cut them off when you see fit. That will teach them to speed things up. Keep track of their best times on your iPhone and give them small rewards (like a hug or kiss on the temple) for shaving off minutes.

Children are meant to be seen and not heard, but if you’re rude enough to bring a baby to a public eatery, it’s your responsibility to leave the table for the bathroom to nurse. Your meal will be waiting when you return. If your appetite is affected by the smell of light sewage, consider the fantastic weight-loss ramifications and be grateful. You’re going to look great in that bikini!

The message is simple: whatever you are doing in public, drop it to move to a private area. Shopping? Return to your vehicle. At a remote park? Find an abandoned train car. Think about others.

Tip #3: When you leave the house, switch to bottles. If your baby hasn’t used them before, shame on you for not preparing your infant for the real world. Everyone knows that it is very simple for babies to switch between the breast and bottles and won’t at all impact his or her ability to continue breastfeeding in a socially appropriate setting (your bedroom in the dark).

Pumping breast milk is simple, fast and easy. Capable moms know how to squirt out a gallon of milk in under seven minutes. When you need to leave the house, just grab some of your fridge emissions! If your breasts become painfully engorged or hard to the touch from skipping feedings, take comfort in knowing that you’re doing this for mankind’s comfort level.

Formula is also available and not expensive.

Bottles also give other people a chance to feed the baby. Stop being selfish and hogging all of the feedings with your teats. Having a baby is about letting other people feel good. Pass it around like a football and watch the compliments roll in!

If your baby refuses the bottle, just keep pressing. You’ll break their spirit eventually. If not, see tip #4.

Tip #4: Stay home. It would be easier for you and all of us if you just spent the day in your private dwelling. Not forever. Just until your baby learns to take a bottle or eat food that doesn’t come out of your privates. There’s lots to do in a home: television, hanging out in the backyard (don’t nurse there unless you have a high enough wall — again, RESPECT), cooking, cleaning, laundry and of course, Facebook. Please don’t post photos of yourself breastfeeding on the Internet. The last thing anyone on the Internet wants to see are female breasts in an innocent context. We find this disgusting.

Tip #5: Get some morals. Do you have sex in public? No. Then why would you pull out your SEX BREASTS for your baby in public? Just because something is natural, doesn’t mean we all want to see it. Yes, we will tolerate a celebrity nip slip or areola display. Yes, there are breasts splashed all over magazine racks and on television bouncing up and down to pop music, but that’s different. We’re OK with boobs if money has been exchanged. Has your cheap baby paid you? No? Then wrap it up.

In conclusion, breastfeeding in public is for lazy, exhibitionist, thrill-seeking, husband-stealing mothers who have nothing better to do than to make the rest of us shrivel in disgust. So cover it up. Love, Us.

Life Lesson for Mommy #34:

Nom Nom

Fasting and Food.

Dates, carbs and fruit are part of the diet of a Muslim during Ramadan. From 3am to 9pm we will go without food or water. Be careful of your sugars. I know it seems like a healthy good idea to chow down on tons of fruits and dates, but it’s not. There’s a reason why you only need 1 full fruit and 1 date to bring up your sugars to healthy levels. When making smoothies you are piling in the fruit like a whole banana and several helpings of berries- still sugar, better then cake, but still sugar.

Carbs convert into sugars in your body, so all that rice and roti you might be consuming on top of that fruit equals to diabetes for the future. We have an unhealthy view on what it is healthy.

The food plate diagrams- see if you can pick out the correct way to eat. Below is what we should be following even during Ramadan- with some tweaks here and there on protein to fill up. But more veggies over fruits. Pile in those veggies until your a stuffed chipmunk! Cancer fighting and won’t spike up fasting sugars and still keep all your organs and acid in your body working in perfect harmony!

And don’t forget that fat free dairy is almost always devoid of any nutrition, so drink at least 2% milk and cut down on the fats like canola oil to coconut oil.

Good Luck!
😀