Lessons for Mommy #47:

STOP! Don’t BreastFeed in Public!

Come on ladies, your boobs are shameful. They are sexual things that need to be covered up, or completely showing in the most sexual way possible. If it’s not entertaining in a jiggly way in Hollywood, don’t pop them out in public breastfeeding- that’s just disgusting. Your baby is just going to have to go hungry and get his s*** together.

Them boobs have nipples, and so what if you’re baby is crying because he’s hungry, and so what if the only place he can get that milk is from your boobs- get a bottle kid! Eat some food. It’s 2015 ladies, does your baby really need those boobs? Breastfeeding is what mothers of ancient times did, we don’t need that now.

If you want to breastfeed get a room, put on layers of blankets, and have someone hold up a cover so that no one can even tell that you’re boobing back there. Instead of doing the most shameful act ever by breastfeeding your baby, you could just let him cry. But like the whore if you insist on breastfeeding that shameless infant of yours in public, then here’s some advice.

1) Go into the bathroom, where everyone is pissing and pooping away, the sound of constant flushing and farting will soothe him to sleep.

2) Carry at all times 2-5 blankets and perhaps a bed sheet so that you can cover yourself and your baby under hot blankets to ensure no one walking by will see your nipples. Because you know if a man was to see you breastfeeding, he might get a hardon and rape you. Bonus Tip- get your mother, husband or your other small child to hold up the sheet around you, like a tent.

3) Go into a corner somewhere. If you can’t find a chair, sit on your small child or husband’s lap- but make sure you face the wall as close as possible because you’re doing something sexual when you breastfeed and no one’s grandfather should have to see that.

4) Can’t find a corner, no problem if you’re in the mall, ask to go into a changing room with multiple mirrors so you can see how disgusting the act is. And I’m sure your baby will find the bright white lights in his eyes calming (mostly blinding) but eventually his pupils will get used to it.

5) At a family members house? Rush into a bedroom, if anyone asks what you’re going to do, DO NOT say you’re breastfeeding- even saying the word “Breast” is sexual. Instead say you’re going to do a 30 minute diaper change.

6) IF you are in a open place like the park or out in the city and you’re baby suddenly gets hungry for milk, don’t just whip out those boobs and start feeding. There are other people there trying to enjoy their time and they don’t need to see your nipples feeding something you gave life. That’s private stuff and should be done privately. So try to the cover/sheet method or let the kid cry for a little bit while you rush to the nearest public washroom. It will build his character.

7) On a family vacation or at a festival? Ask the women around you to surround you in a human shield so none of their men can see your boobs. God forbid if they did. Do you know how many of them would suddenly want to leave their women and marry you instead!?

8) Remember you can wear a bikini while breastfeeding, but if you have to actually breast feed- don’t. Go somewhere secluded, devoid of human life and pop your boobs out of that bikini top and then breastfeed.

Always think “My boobs are sexual items and just because the natural function is to feed a baby doesn’t give me the right to disgust other people with it. My baby is just going to have to grow the hell up”.

So there you have it, the most idiotic article ever. I’m being really sarcastic just in case no one got that.

You need to breastfeed your baby, BREASTFEED HIM/HER wherever and whenever you want. Doesn’t matter if people are uncomfortable or not, that’s their damn problem, not yours. Your boobs are there to feed the life you gave and it’s the most natural thing possible. Don’t feel ashamed, or nervous about it. Don’t give it a second thought. If you need to breastfeed your child, then do it. Pop out those nurturing boobs and feed your child.

Good Luck!
😀

Life Lesson for Mommy #46:

My life!

Not living Just Functioning.

It’s been a long time since I had the luxury to post. I have been living pretty pain free, just tense and sore, and perhaps a headache maybe only once or twice a week- but that’s it. I thought that this is great. But today when I finally sat down to review my calendar so I could go back and figure out what to post here, I realized it has been a very long time since I last updated.

What was eating up my time so much that it had been so long since my last post? Was it my kids, the business, life, home making etc But still I always had time in the past, what happened then?

After carefully going through everything in my calendar, I realized I was spending so much time doing stretching, magic bagging, and more stretching, on top of the never ending appointments, to driving back and fourth…I was spending so much time trying to keep the pain away that I’m not really living anymore. I’m just functioning.

This really made me sad. I love posting on my blog and I still have so much material to catch up to, material that I had written before the car accident that I haven’t had time to post up on here.

I think I would classify myself as a ‘anxious’ person. I went through postpartum anxiety after my daughter’s pregnancy went down hill. But I recovered even with a small baby, I had my amazing support and I had no physical pain so it all just came together. So why did a car accident bring me down this much. I can’t get into the details because it’s a long and kind of sad story, but I think after assessing myself for a little while this last week I realized that the physical pain was taking a toll on my mood and taking a toll on my life. Which is why I was working so hard to be pain free… but now I’m not living like I want to. I’m spending a lot of time trying to stop the pain from happening at all or lessening it.

Breast feeding is supposed to be a happy wonderful bonding time, I enjoyed breastfeeding my daughter so so much. And had it not been the car accident I wouldn’t have had to stop. But this time around breastfeeding my son with all this pain, that I’m finding myself saying ‘I hope he gets off soon’…which is something I would have never said before. I…I don’t like this. I thought I was making real head ways in terms of getting my emotions on track and letting things go and moving on. I also thought I was becoming more zen in terms of positive thinking and telling myself that there is not going to be any more pain in my neck. I make it like some sad motto everyday and its’ helped, but I realize now that it’s because I’m doing so much to prevent it.

I’m finding it hard to accept again. And instead of coming on here and posting something meaningful for other momma’s to read and learn from, I’m posting how frustrated I am at myself as a person, as a woman and as a mom. Why can’t I be stronger then this? I decided not to stretch today and see where I am in terms of pain. And it’s creeping up fast on me. I haven’t had to take a Tylenol yet because I’m mentally warding off the pain by telling myself “I feel nothing”  and I also think I have become used to this type of pain- as sad as that sounds…But this pain is very much real. It’s a soreness, a tightness, it actually feels like my neck to my shoulder is swollen.

So what can I do right this moment after piecing this together? How can I cut down my neck maintenance time and start living and doing what I want to do? I guess the first step would be to stop being in denial about it.

Address it and deal with it.

I will up my water intake, since it does help with inflammation in the body and it’s good for me.

I will also go back to taking turmeric in my diet instead of relying on pills.

I will also stretch only morning, afternoon and before bed. I will try to train my body, my neck in particular to loosen up and stay loosened.

And the biggest one: I will also have to come to terms with the fact that I will have to take the injections my doctor suggested. It’s not my ideal but I cannot live like this: to avoid pain spend so much time avoiding it and not living.

I guess that’s what mothers have to do with hurdles. You just have to deal with them. I will try this method to deal with it. Because what I am doing right now isn’t the solution that works for me. If I am going to live properly, then I have to get this neck to do what I want it to do, and that is be loose, comfortable and pain free. I want to spend more time with my daughter doing crafts, enjoy breastfeeding my son, and do my blog, help my husband with the company, and just enjoy and cherish life like I used to.

I don’t know why I turned this way? Perhaps the stresses after the accident piled up and warped my personality? Maybe it was just the last one thing I could take? Maybe this was how I react to being thrown off the cliff- hold on to freaking anything and stay there as long as possible until someone saves me. I’m not going to wait there on that cliff, I’m really going to try to make the effort to climb up. And I will climb up.

I have so much more then what I’m living out of life. My husband and I have big dreams that a lot of people can only dream of. We are hell bent on making a reality. In order to achieve those goals, I have to be the kind of person who can adapt and change as I need to.

I guess there is no lesson in this. But maybe the lesson can be that if you aren’t living the way you want and just functioning; you’re not getting the full potential out of life. So if by making small changes, we can slowly achieve that goal of living, why not try it. My old self would have put the most negative spin on this, that there’s probably no point, the pain isn’t going to go away, and why did this have to happen to me etc

But I’m not that person anymore- no I’m not going down that stupid mental spiral. I will love this body and love this life and LIVE IT. I won’t let the poor decision of someone who couldn’t respect the road, to change my life to the point where I can’t enjoy it.

I think the lesson for me would be, to not let this accident take another year, another month, another day, another hour from me. These seconds, months and years belong to me and I don’t want to look back at my calendar and wonder- what did I do with me time?

Good Luck!
😀

Life Lesson for Mommy #44:

haytham&me

Life Lesson for Mommy #44:
Big Fat Momma

I met an acquaintance I hadn’t seen since before I was pregnant with Omera- over 3 years ago. So when we met up by accident at the mall today, it was a great surprise to know she had just given birth to a healthy baby girl a month ago. I was surprised since she didn’t even look like she had been pregnant! I told her she looked amazing having just given birth! She replied by asking how old Haytham was, I said almost 5 months and we both had this awkward silence….Like as if her eyes were asking me why I hadn’t already lost all that baby weight yet?

I felt like I had to explain to her why I was still hanging on to my chub. So it’s been 4 months, almost 5 and I haven’t lost all the baby weight I gained…in fact there is a good chance a gained a pound or 2 back. And most of it due to the fact that my son Haytham was mad colic for the first 3 months of his life out of the belly- horrible crying, intense purple crying and not to mention 4 major nursing strikes. It was tough and really emotionally intense. All that along with neck and shoulder pain from an accident that never really healed….of course I’m gonna eat cupcakes dammit!

But I shouldn’t have to justify this to people or myself. It’s tough to be a woman and even harder to be a mom. The expectations don’t go down just because you have a baby, in fact it might be even worse. Everyone looks at Kim Kardashian and thinks it’s realistic to drop 25lbs after having the baby. Well let me tell you, the Kim types in the world have the time, and maybe their priorities and help are a bit different then mine. Hollywood has the help, the chef, the personal trainer…I just have myself LOL And the one time I went to a baby yoga class, I had to rush out in 10 minutes because Haytham had a colic episode….but the time I had in there made me realize that woman are really harsh with each other. These yoga moms were in there with their babies who were younger then Haytham and looking like they had never gotten pregnant, looking at me like I didn’t care for myself….

Why is the pressure to be thin so quickly after birth so crucial? Are we that narrow minded of a society, that the health of a mother comes last compared to her body image? Is left over belly from where the baby stretches your inni into an outie that bad? Is it so bad to have curves and chub left over on your body after nurturing life for 10 months? Is it really that bad?

It’s fine if you want to be thin and fit, all the power to you. If you can balance new baby and having a fit amazing bod, I envy your will power! If you can send me some of that energy and will power please do! A year or two ago a fitness momma with 3 kids posted up a picture of her 3 sons and her in a 2 piece outfit with the title ‘what’s your excuse’. It was a huge thing on the net, and the question of if fat shaming is actually a good thing came up. To push women who are new mothers to lose excess baby weight faster and not use the baby….Um wtf? Serious? Maybe her babies are just wonderful angels who did what they were supposed to do on time, but that’s not the majority of babies. Maybe she left her kids to exercise, I didn’t.

That’s not the majority of women out there. And what I resent is the ‘yoga momma’s’ out there who are fat shaming real mothers who don’t have perfect babies. They don’t have perfect bodies and why should fat be the issue. Shouldn’t healthy be what you push?

Listen, if all you eat is kale and kale, and everything’s juiced, that’s great, I’m very envious of your lifestyle. But even if all I ate was that, I would never be a size zero and I don’t ever want to be a size zero, I just want to be healthy.

Body image was getting me down, seeing these perfect bodies of new momma’s was getting me down. And then a wonderful thing happened…my husband told me that he liked my chub. That this chub was proof that I put priority on my colic son who needed me for those 3 months. I put priority on my daughter who felt left out because all my time was spent on nursing and cuddling an infant. I put priority on my happiness by using time I could have used on the stepper to watch a funny show to lift my dwindling spirits. I ate, oh I ate when I had a chance, and that was whenever the baby wasn’t crying, so my diet wasn’t great. Regardless, I love the way I am. And though I want to go back to my ideal size, I’m not going to let images of sexy momma’s in bikini’s break me down. And it shouldn’t bring down any mother.

You are amazing, and your body is amazing. You have to love yourself, no point is being thin if all that matters to you is what other people think. Then all you’re doing is being shallow, and teaching your children that girls have to be thin, sexy objects. And I for one will not teach my daughter or my son that. Women are beautiful inside out, the way they are. There is too much heavy important placed on the size of her waist and not enough on how amazing of a girl or mother she is. And most importantly both her physical and mental health should be what matters.

I love my chub. And if you meet me, you’ll love my chub too.

Pass this to a new momma who loves her chub too.

Good Luck!

Life Lessons for Mommy 39:

udooil

My New Secret Skin Care Product

I use a few things for my skin to try to hold on to looking youthful for a bit longer- despite hitting into my 30’s. And of course when you think of skin care, you think of all the products you’re going to slather on to your face and body, all the things you’re going to DIY and paste, and baste in to look younger, fresher and prettier.

But here’s one of my new secret weapons that has me raving praises! And its not even something you put on your body.

Udo’s oil. No joke, it’s one of the healthiest oils on earth, and it does wonders for your skin, hair and nails, not to mention cell regeneration, and detoxifying. I was skeptical when my momma friend told me about it, I mean you can say Olive Oil is the best oil on earth if you look at all the good things it does for you too. But Udo’s oil is different. It has a combination of different unrefined oils, like flex oil, sesame, evening primrose seeds, coconut and rice bran oils. It’s vegetarian based which makes it halal and kosher, all natural, and has DHA. This isn’t just great for skin, it’s great for eye health (I went down a prescription, I didn’t even know that was possible but there it is!)

So give yourself a boost in health and beauty, and get this oil. I did the hunting for you and found Flora Health has the best Udo’s oil out there- non GMO and completely natural and vegetarian. And if you’re breast feeding, or pregnant, take this oil, it’s not harmful to your baby, in fact the boost in brain development of the baby, and supports the nervous system. So go for this oil, a little goes a long way.

Drizzle on salads, Chinese foods, or even smoothies (I couldn’t do the smoothie…texture issue for me, but you might like it). It’s not really a cooking oil, so don’t try to fry things in it, it’s more of a top off oil. So you add it in, not cook it out so keep that in mind.

You can buy it from a friend of mine who’s helping me out with my videos (which I plan on shooting in the new year!!! So please do support me too!!)

http://rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=jdmvip-20&o=15&p=8&l=as4&m=amazon&f=ifr&ref=ss_til&asins=B00154O6QE

Good Luck

And as always,
Good Luck

Life Lesson for Mommy #38:

omera&haytham2

It’s Easier the 2nd Time

Other mom’s always told me that things are easier with the second child. Makes sense. Because you already know everything from the first. What kinds of poops are normal, when to worry about a fever, what foods to start feeding, how to nurse etc  With my daughter, I reacted to everything. She cried for a second, I’d respond a second later. I read tons of baby books, went online to research like a maniac about all the things I could do to give my daughter the best possible start. Breast fed as long as I could, organic homemade food, no sweets, taught her sign language, Mozart playing all the time, piano lessons, vacuumed everyday, organic clothes- the list freaking goes on. I did a lot so she would benefit. Took care of her so precisely because that’s usually what first time parents do- do things so meticulously for your precious first baby.

After hearing these mothers who said it was easier with the second, I relaxed a bit, thinking that it wasn’t going to be as hard, or emotionally and physically draining as the first, because I already know what to do, how to do it and when to do it. It wasn’t going to be a whole new learning process.

LIES! All lies!
It doesn’t get easier with the second- actually it gets harder. Because now you have a newborn who needs constant attention (boob feeding, diapers, skin time, more diapers, more boob feedings) but you also have the toddler- who is also in need of constant attention (love me, pay attention to me, look at me, let me hold the baby, is this a power socket?…) hahaha?

Dear God, what the hell have I done. It’s like in these last 3 years since my daughter was born, my mind suddenly forgot the every hour breast feedings, the never ending epic diapers, the constant worry about if he’s breathing, if he’s okay when he’s gassy… NOW on top of that, picture a toddler bouncing around, trying to kiss the baby, hold him, anxious about getting the kind of attention she’s used to. To top it off, my anxiety of getting him circumcised, the lack of sleep, and of course that toddler bouncing around- ignoring what I ask her to do, testing the limits of discipline, pushing all the patient buttons I have. Argh, who are these people saying it’s easier the second time? What kind of children are these women popping out that they think this is easier the second time around? Because I’m not seeing it, it’s harder then when it was just my daughter. Dear God, so much harder. I feel like I’m stretched thin, so is my mind, body and nipples; all of it just wilting away wondering why is this not easier. Sometimes I find myself curled in the corner facing the wall saying to myself ‘they said it was easier, they said it was easier’….hahaha?

The truth is, it’s not easier when you have a second kid, it only gets harder, more complicated; and more stressful. I’m having to rely on my support system greatly. Things like home cook food for my daughter flew out the window because I’m so tired. Now if she skips dinner and wants a cupcake, after explaining to her why she needs to eat dinner; after she’s thrown a tantrum waking up her baby brother, I give her the damn cup cake. “Put away your toys” has become just please move the toys to a corner so I can walk. All the things I worked so hard to do with my first, literally went out the door. I imagine as my second child grows up, and he becomes a bit more independent it will get easier, but until they both get into school, this is going to be my life, a whole lot of crazy.

My vacuuming the floor every second day, turned into whenever possible. My home cooked meals became semi home cooked with things thrown into a pot and left to cook itself. My freshly folded laundry is now live out of the basket of clean clothes tossed in it. My me time has become play with my daughter while breast feeding my son time. I can’t tell you what’s happening to my mental well being because I haven’t had the time to think about if I’m mental or not. And this is only 22 days in since I gave birth….

So listen up second time preggo’s, it doesn’t get easier, it gets harder. REAL HARD. But somehow you will get through it, somehow you will keep your sanity. The moment your kids fall asleep, you will gaze upon them with loving eyes and realize that yes this is hard, real hard, super horribly hard, but wow; you made these wonderful little human beings. And they are a piece of you, the best piece of you.

So stay strong! And the next time you hear someone telling you it’s easier the second time around, shake that person and scream LIES!!!! But you’re ready for it. And one day, 3 or 4 years down the road, you will forget all the trouble of raising 2 kids, and stupidly think you want a 3rd or 4th….until that time, enjoy these moments now. As hard as it is, you’ll miss them when they grow up and no longer need your constant care.

And it’s not so bad, especially when my daughter cuddles me and tells me she loves mama; or when my son looks at me. I think to myself, nope, this isn’t too bad at all.
Good Luck!
😀