Life Lesson for Mommy #142:

5 Minute Scrub! DIY!

There are only a few things I do for myself during the week to take care of myself. And this is one of them. I make a cup of it, stick it into a glass mason jar and use it up every week! It’s easy and it cleanses your skin, helps smooth out, lightens and brightens your skin and just overall good! And you probably already have these ingredients in your house!

It doesn’t matter if you have dry or oily skin- this is great for both. I have combination skin so this is perfect for someone like me. You can add a little something extra to it if you feel your skin type needs a little less or more.

The Stuff You Need:

  • 1 lemon squeezed out of all it’s juice, no seeds.
  • 1 cup plain white yogurt
  • 1/2 cup oatmeal (blended dry until it’s a powder)

Mix all the ingredients and make a paste- it should not be sliding off your face. Decrease yogurt or increase amount of oatmeal powder to reach paste like consistency.

That’s it! Mix it, put it into a mason jar and keep it in your fridge. And 5 minutes before your shower, or while you’re in the shower slather it on your face and neck and let it sit for as long as you can. Ideal would be until it dries and feels like your face is tight! But any amount of time is great!

It’s like a mask, a scrub, a cleanser, a toner- it freaking does it all!

Some Tips:

  •  Make sure your yogurt is not about to be expired.
  • -Label the mason jar with yogurt expiry so you know when to throw out mixture- should only use for 1 week before making new batch.

Life Lesson for Mommy #44:

haytham&me

Life Lesson for Mommy #44:
Big Fat Momma

I met an acquaintance I hadn’t seen since before I was pregnant with Omera- over 3 years ago. So when we met up by accident at the mall today, it was a great surprise to know she had just given birth to a healthy baby girl a month ago. I was surprised since she didn’t even look like she had been pregnant! I told her she looked amazing having just given birth! She replied by asking how old Haytham was, I said almost 5 months and we both had this awkward silence….Like as if her eyes were asking me why I hadn’t already lost all that baby weight yet?

I felt like I had to explain to her why I was still hanging on to my chub. So it’s been 4 months, almost 5 and I haven’t lost all the baby weight I gained…in fact there is a good chance a gained a pound or 2 back. And most of it due to the fact that my son Haytham was mad colic for the first 3 months of his life out of the belly- horrible crying, intense purple crying and not to mention 4 major nursing strikes. It was tough and really emotionally intense. All that along with neck and shoulder pain from an accident that never really healed….of course I’m gonna eat cupcakes dammit!

But I shouldn’t have to justify this to people or myself. It’s tough to be a woman and even harder to be a mom. The expectations don’t go down just because you have a baby, in fact it might be even worse. Everyone looks at Kim Kardashian and thinks it’s realistic to drop 25lbs after having the baby. Well let me tell you, the Kim types in the world have the time, and maybe their priorities and help are a bit different then mine. Hollywood has the help, the chef, the personal trainer…I just have myself LOL And the one time I went to a baby yoga class, I had to rush out in 10 minutes because Haytham had a colic episode….but the time I had in there made me realize that woman are really harsh with each other. These yoga moms were in there with their babies who were younger then Haytham and looking like they had never gotten pregnant, looking at me like I didn’t care for myself….

Why is the pressure to be thin so quickly after birth so crucial? Are we that narrow minded of a society, that the health of a mother comes last compared to her body image? Is left over belly from where the baby stretches your inni into an outie that bad? Is it so bad to have curves and chub left over on your body after nurturing life for 10 months? Is it really that bad?

It’s fine if you want to be thin and fit, all the power to you. If you can balance new baby and having a fit amazing bod, I envy your will power! If you can send me some of that energy and will power please do! A year or two ago a fitness momma with 3 kids posted up a picture of her 3 sons and her in a 2 piece outfit with the title ‘what’s your excuse’. It was a huge thing on the net, and the question of if fat shaming is actually a good thing came up. To push women who are new mothers to lose excess baby weight faster and not use the baby….Um wtf? Serious? Maybe her babies are just wonderful angels who did what they were supposed to do on time, but that’s not the majority of babies. Maybe she left her kids to exercise, I didn’t.

That’s not the majority of women out there. And what I resent is the ‘yoga momma’s’ out there who are fat shaming real mothers who don’t have perfect babies. They don’t have perfect bodies and why should fat be the issue. Shouldn’t healthy be what you push?

Listen, if all you eat is kale and kale, and everything’s juiced, that’s great, I’m very envious of your lifestyle. But even if all I ate was that, I would never be a size zero and I don’t ever want to be a size zero, I just want to be healthy.

Body image was getting me down, seeing these perfect bodies of new momma’s was getting me down. And then a wonderful thing happened…my husband told me that he liked my chub. That this chub was proof that I put priority on my colic son who needed me for those 3 months. I put priority on my daughter who felt left out because all my time was spent on nursing and cuddling an infant. I put priority on my happiness by using time I could have used on the stepper to watch a funny show to lift my dwindling spirits. I ate, oh I ate when I had a chance, and that was whenever the baby wasn’t crying, so my diet wasn’t great. Regardless, I love the way I am. And though I want to go back to my ideal size, I’m not going to let images of sexy momma’s in bikini’s break me down. And it shouldn’t bring down any mother.

You are amazing, and your body is amazing. You have to love yourself, no point is being thin if all that matters to you is what other people think. Then all you’re doing is being shallow, and teaching your children that girls have to be thin, sexy objects. And I for one will not teach my daughter or my son that. Women are beautiful inside out, the way they are. There is too much heavy important placed on the size of her waist and not enough on how amazing of a girl or mother she is. And most importantly both her physical and mental health should be what matters.

I love my chub. And if you meet me, you’ll love my chub too.

Pass this to a new momma who loves her chub too.

Good Luck!

How to breastfeed appropriately.

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This article is one of my favorites! It’s very hilarious how ridiculous the world can be when breastfeeding in public!

You can read below or visit the link to read it there!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bunmi-laditan/how-to-breastfeed-appropriately_b_5530806.html

So you’ve decided to breastfeed. Fantastic! Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to nourish your baby while establishing early bonding. Unfortunately, breast milk comes out of breasts so there are a few ground rules that we need to cover.

As you know, (female) modesty is a highly protected value in modern society. Unless you’re a magazine cover model or in a music video, exposing your female udder flesh is entirely inappropriate. Science has proven that breasts are basically large vaginas. Only you and your partner should ever see them. Just because your breast-ginas are full of milk, doesn’t mean you get to wave them around.

“I don’t expose much when I breastfeed.” This is a common excuse made by exhibitionist mothers. Just knowing that your nipples may become visible at any time is offensive and a temptation to married or newly engaged men.

Real life stories:

“I saw a woman breastfeeding in a park and was overcome with desire. I left my wife the same day.” – John, 34, Nebraska

“I was a married man with eight kids. Last month I saw a woman nursing her infant at a park. I am now married to her.” – Luke, 45, South Dakota

“Two years ago I was a successful business executive handling important transactions. Then I saw a breastfeeding mother. I became obsessed with nipples and lost my job. I can’t make ends meet.” – Anthony, 45

None of us would urinate in public (sober), so please show us the same courtesy and release your mommy nectar out of sight.

Note: Peeing in public and breastfeeding in public are identical because in both cases liquid is coming out. Crying in public is different because it’s happening above the neck. If you can breastfeed out of your eye sockets, be my guest.

Here are a few tips that mothers should and need to adopt to help the rest of us feel comfortable.

Tip #1: Use a cover. Every time. There are many fancy ones on the market. Damask. Lace-trimmed. Or how about a swaddling cloth (if it’s good enough to warm the baby Jesus, it’s good enough for your kid)? Statistics show that human beings love being in confined spaces. Babies are on their way to becoming full humans, so this applies to them as well. I personally eat many of my meals under a loosely draped fitted sheet in my bedroom and find it quite enjoyable.

Please do not use summer as an excuse to flash your flesh-toned milk bags. Just last week I ate an entire Italian sub under a handmade quilt in 90 degree weather skin-to-skin with a close friend to simulate summer breastfeeding. Were we hot? Yes. Were we uncomfortable? Yes. Did one of us briefly lose consciousness? Yes. Did we subject anyone to seeing nipples? NO.

Do not be fooled, the importance of air circulation has been exaggerated by politicians. Ten out of 10 babies reported loving the sensation of breathing repeat CO2. There are women who can breastfeed without anyone knowing what they’re doing. If they can do it, so can you because all babies are the same.

If you have a rebellious/bad child who pulls your cover off in a desperate attempt to breathe fresh air and see the world around them, consider some home training. It’s your job to teach them right from wrong. Should your original sin infant not respond to discipline and still reach out for new oxygen, place two little straws in their nose scuba-style so that cool air can be retrieved from under a burlap cover without making us all barf from the sight of your boob flesh.

Care about decency? Go the extra mile and prevent wind from flying up and exposing your naked nipples by sewing small weights into the corners of your nursing cover.

Tip #2: Use a bathroom. Who doesn’t love a public restroom? They’re full of exotic scents and sounds! The next time your needy baby starts fussing for a taste of chest drippings, run to the nearest stall or city outhouse.

Nursing standing up while trying to avoid bacteria and holding a wriggling child has the added benefit of strengthening your core muscles. That postpartum tummy will be gone before you know it, making you more attractive to the general public. It’s summer, after all — bikini season!

No hook for the diaper bag? Put it on the floor or in the sink. When you get home, wipe it down with a bleach and water solution to remove any fecal matter.

If you’ve used your uterus more than once and have a second, or worse, third child in tow, ask the critters to join you in the stall for their safety. It’s like a party! Don’t worry, if you’ve raised them right they won’t touch anything.

Considerate babies nurse for between 10-15 minutes, so you’ll be out of there before you know it. If you’ve been cursed with a baby who nurses for 20 minutes or more at a time, cut them off when you see fit. That will teach them to speed things up. Keep track of their best times on your iPhone and give them small rewards (like a hug or kiss on the temple) for shaving off minutes.

Children are meant to be seen and not heard, but if you’re rude enough to bring a baby to a public eatery, it’s your responsibility to leave the table for the bathroom to nurse. Your meal will be waiting when you return. If your appetite is affected by the smell of light sewage, consider the fantastic weight-loss ramifications and be grateful. You’re going to look great in that bikini!

The message is simple: whatever you are doing in public, drop it to move to a private area. Shopping? Return to your vehicle. At a remote park? Find an abandoned train car. Think about others.

Tip #3: When you leave the house, switch to bottles. If your baby hasn’t used them before, shame on you for not preparing your infant for the real world. Everyone knows that it is very simple for babies to switch between the breast and bottles and won’t at all impact his or her ability to continue breastfeeding in a socially appropriate setting (your bedroom in the dark).

Pumping breast milk is simple, fast and easy. Capable moms know how to squirt out a gallon of milk in under seven minutes. When you need to leave the house, just grab some of your fridge emissions! If your breasts become painfully engorged or hard to the touch from skipping feedings, take comfort in knowing that you’re doing this for mankind’s comfort level.

Formula is also available and not expensive.

Bottles also give other people a chance to feed the baby. Stop being selfish and hogging all of the feedings with your teats. Having a baby is about letting other people feel good. Pass it around like a football and watch the compliments roll in!

If your baby refuses the bottle, just keep pressing. You’ll break their spirit eventually. If not, see tip #4.

Tip #4: Stay home. It would be easier for you and all of us if you just spent the day in your private dwelling. Not forever. Just until your baby learns to take a bottle or eat food that doesn’t come out of your privates. There’s lots to do in a home: television, hanging out in the backyard (don’t nurse there unless you have a high enough wall — again, RESPECT), cooking, cleaning, laundry and of course, Facebook. Please don’t post photos of yourself breastfeeding on the Internet. The last thing anyone on the Internet wants to see are female breasts in an innocent context. We find this disgusting.

Tip #5: Get some morals. Do you have sex in public? No. Then why would you pull out your SEX BREASTS for your baby in public? Just because something is natural, doesn’t mean we all want to see it. Yes, we will tolerate a celebrity nip slip or areola display. Yes, there are breasts splashed all over magazine racks and on television bouncing up and down to pop music, but that’s different. We’re OK with boobs if money has been exchanged. Has your cheap baby paid you? No? Then wrap it up.

In conclusion, breastfeeding in public is for lazy, exhibitionist, thrill-seeking, husband-stealing mothers who have nothing better to do than to make the rest of us shrivel in disgust. So cover it up. Love, Us.