Life Lesson for Mommy #148:

Infant child baby kid hand with medical insulin syringe

The Vaccination Question?

Ah, to vaccinate or not to vaccinate? That is the question. A billion dollar a year industry question.

I’m making this post for my friends and family members who have questions about vaccines, if they’re safe, and if they should get their kids vaccinated.

I will tell you up front, that I’m not anti-vaccine, I’m pro-information. By now I think most of us know that we the public are never told the whole truth, and that’s just based off current and past events where the government has lied or just selected on not telling us the whole story.

News and spine chilling breakthroughs like this article really make me uncomfortable and nervous.

Eek! And it makes me painfully afraid of the fact that I vaccinated both my children, and I myself was vaccinated as a child. I explain later in this post why I decided to do it- and this was before I knew about the article above… Anyways, lets get some perspective!

1) Your Government Is A Habitual Liar.

In many cases Canada follows some of it’s medical practices from the United States (not all but some). Accepting a lot of the research that they have, which was sponsored and paid for by pharmaceutical or chemical companies. One company is Monsanto. Monsanto is company of many faces. It developed the biochemical weapon Agent Orange which the United States sprayed on Vietnam during the war. To this day children are born with serious birth defects and diseases Vietnam. From this company was developed the GMO- that thing you eat in almost every food your government says is safe…except it’s not. Well the safety part is up for scientific debate.Two Shots with a Vial on American Paper MoneyGlysophate which is sprayed on these GMO crops because they’re constantly trying to kill weeds that have become immune to the previous spray, was being totted around the scientific world as SAFE for decades. And then it came out that maybe, just maybe it’s not so safe. Maybe it’s more carcinogen then safe. Sorry about that….Enjoy your cancer broccoli… :S

Tons of research is out there that is completely ignored or shot down simply because the pharmaceutical company or ‘seed company’ like Monsanto says it is. And they go to great lengths to counter these reports even if it’s half ass’d.

 Lets not forget they try to crucify people, even people like Dr. Oz who is against GMO’s and glysophate simply because the science isn’t completely correct on them. He was hammered publicly before a government panel…but guess who was on that hammering panel- people paid for by Monsanto and Big Pharmaceutical companies- that portion didn’t make the news.  But lucky for us, the Internet provides.
Not to mention the United States has in the very recent past of actually introducing diseases into the general public simply to see how ‘people got sick’.

This clip is just to show that the Government can and has lied.

As mentioned in the youtube clip the Syphillis Studies list goes on

Here’s a bunch of others….
How CIA did fake vaccines in Pakistan and India

History of medical abuse- this is important because it puts the next link into perspective

First Nation TB experiments. clinical trials

Phew! That was a lot to read and watch right? Well there’s more, so clear your day! 😛

2) This Is All Just Conspiracy Stuff- Not Real Stuff.

You’re probably going to say, well Ms. Blogger lady, these experiments with vaccines and what not were done a long time ago and these experiments aren’t happening now because they were already experimented and it’s 2016…Well to you I say, you’re stupid to think the government ever stops experimenting. They have a track record of lying, why the hell would you think for a second they’d suddenly become honest.

Big Pharma isn’t called big pharma for no reason- they make trillions, they need you to be sick. If they can spread and experiment with these past vaccines, there is no saying that they won’t introduce illness into a population simply to see how their ‘vaccine’ works- that’s the easiest and cheapest clinical trial ever and they make money on it.

Ah what’s that? Smells like the Ebola virus and that miracle vaccine! :S Yikes

Dictionary definition of word conspiracy

Conspiracy theory is a term coined to create doubt on a plausible theory, well get ready for a dose of reality cause some crazy conspiracy theories turned out to be true- and below is 1 that was wildly put down, until it turned out to be true. Like operation NorthWood for example- might want to google that one, fun read…

And yes there are crazy (like crazy crazy) theories out there, but you just have to apply some common sense, a habit of crossing checking and you’ll have your truth.

3) Polio Vaccines To The Rescue!

Nope, not today. Bill Gates spear headed the cause to cure India of it’s polio- except the well known oral vaccines – suspected for causing parallelization, caused just that, people were paralyzed. This was early on being called out but anti-vaxx’ers were slammed by the general medical community calling it a conspiracy theory nut job blabber.

They used all the science they could to say it wasn’t happening and it was rare…Then it turned out to be legit not so rare. No apology was issued and they haven’t really stopped. Oh and guess who makes this Oral vaccine in India? MONSANTO.

Bill Gates has a nasty habit of being kind of a hypocrite. He talks about helping the impoverished and saving them from curable diseases like Polio but invested millions in a controversial security company called G4S- which is well known to be helping Israel to ethnically cleanse. He also invests heavily in oil companies that do so many horrible things, everything from moving Iraqi oil to oiling up an ocean or two. Their business is war, occupation and ownership of Oil at the expense of human lives.

Saving lives and killing them at the same time. But wait, Bill Gates also believes that climate change is happening mostly because there are too many people on earth- so population control is needed on top of carbon taxes. What is population control, I’m glad you asked. It means LESS HUMAN BEINGS NEED TO BE LIVING.

Eventually because of the huge backlash he got for investing in G4S, he divested.

The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation exposed

I don’t know about you, but I don’t really trust a man who is so hypocritical and won’t even admit that these polio vaccines have destroyed the lives of so many young children and that HPV vaccine testing was in fact happening on these people who didn’t consent to it. And never paid out any money to those affected because meh who cares they’re 3rd world guinea pigs.


You can kinda get what’s happening here…and yes it’s freaking scary. I’ll leave you to panic for a moment……… You’re okay? Lets trooper on!

4) So Who Is Telling The Truth?

With so much information coming at you from the internet, your doctors and the mainstream on what is safe when it comes to vaccines, what is a parent to do….who do we believe?
Well here’s a piece that might help put things in perspective on who we are believing when we believe the research our medical system is basing their belief on:

Dear Jon Stewart, from a Doctor

The ultimate power is in your hand Mr. and/or Mrs Parent, you make that powerful choice. As I did. And I chose with great hesitation and prayer to vaccinate. Because yes the gov’t is total crap and they lie like crazy and they can knowingly introduce disease through these vaccines and YOU nor your Doctor or the Nurse giving the shot would know it. Like this article showing how the FDA knows there is high levels of arsenic in your chicken which can cause cancer and serious illness but they won’t change anything…

But I made my choice simply because a) we travel a lot, especially to and from China b)I’m sending my kids to school which requires them to be up to date with vaccinations. c) I will explain this last reason at the end.

5) Do Vaccines Prevent Stuff Then?
….well yeah, maybe?…not like they say it does. In some cases like we saw last year, it was a vaccinated child who started the measles outbreak that year. In fact, every few years there is an outbreak to basically create the business of vaccinations- and yet it’s being pushed that these vaccines are creating ‘herd resistance’…except it’s not with kids who are actually vaccinated causing the outbreaks..

And yes you can say it keeps having outbreaks because dumb parents aren’t vaccinating? But that’s not what happened in Disney Land…

Ouch so much for herd immunity… :S

6) Are You Qualified To Have An Opinion When You’re Not A Medical Professional?
YES, you are.

It’s the biggest mistake that people think we shouldn’t question what doctors/nurses and experts say. The medical field in this country is designed to teach doctors and nurses ‘what paid for science’ looks like and have them preach that to us. I won’t argue that many advancements have been made through research, and we now live longer healthier lives. But we also have to pay a lot more for drugs that cost pennies in 3rd world nations that can’t afford them. And we also have a lot, like a lot more cancer in our population. The cancer rate can be said to be a combo hit between environment, products that we use that all seem to be laced with cancer causing agents, to our food etc. So we cant’ just blame vaccines. But there is a link between vaccine and vaccine injury-which has in reality harmed and ruined the lives of many thousands.

We also have growing number of cancer patients that doesn’t follow a proper pattern vs population growth (in comparison to even 50 years ago) when there were barely any vaccines.Yeah we have greater chances of living through cancer and living longer fuller lives with cancer- but 1 in 2 will get cancer (that’s not a mistake, 1 in 2). If you get cancer, you make Big Pharma money…that doesn’t bother anybody? to put that into perspective, half of the people on my fb are going to get cancer and live longer with it, but they’ll just be paying for it and suffering through it until that cancer takes them painfully to death. I don’t know about you, but that’s not making me feel better. Nobody is going to ask why the numbers are so amazingly staggering!? 1 in 2 should scare you- A LOT. hands holding family figure on wooden background

Are you qualified to have an opinion?

Just remember, we were told just 15 years ago that Iraq had WMD’s when the government knew it didn’t. We were told the government is not spying on you- when they were and still are. What relevance is this to anything, well the LYING part is relevant. If they can lie and say perfectly innocent countries with perfectly innocent people have WMD’s, invade and destroy their country, killing millions- you think they won’t be able to hold a straight face while telling you vaccinations are totally safe?We were told a lot of things for a long time, and now we’re being asked to ignore growing access to studies out there that prove that the science we’re following around vaccines isn’t actual truth but fudged numbers. just for fun, here’s some stuff on vaccine court- it’s a legit thing. some facts on how vaccines do in fact have a dark side.

7) Tylenol is like legit science safe.
It is true, that if not vaccinated and exposed to the disease children might get really sick, so what if they are injected with something designed chemically with that formaldehyde. Yeah I do get that our bodies produce levels that are naturally occurring, it doesn’t matter that it doesn’t even raise the baseline levels in the body itself when injected, and it does matter if we are exposed by environmental formaldehyde that isn’t naturally occurring- the point is- IT SHOULDN’T be there. Naturally occurring and chemically created are 2 different things people!But why, when it’s totally safe!?To that I say: Tylenol.

Pregnant woman are told that Tylenol is perfectly safe to take during pregnancy and is not harmful to the baby. I have a big surprise for ya! Turns out, the science was wrong. Male babies seem to have reproductive issues that are life lasting….yeah…wtf.

So for 50+ years it was for sure real science legit safe and now with new science we’re being told whoops sorry. If you use too much you’ll give birth to boys who might have problems reproducing…

Um, after my accident I took lots of Tylenol out of painful desperation, and thankfully during my pregnancy with my son those hormones kicked in and I didn’t need to take much – I hate myself for even taking the few I did. But the point is that science isn’t a forever fact. I know that’s what these ‘scientists’ act like it is, but the fact is: it’s not an actual fact. (That’s a lot of facts!)It’s only a “fact” based off the limitations of science we know today. In 50 years our children might grow up and one day it might finally come out that vaccines aren’t safe.

And what are we going to do then? Who is going to take responsibility, it’s sure not going to be your government. I guess we can all get together and do a class action lawsuit against the government, the makers of the vaccine itself and our medical system, but will it take away the disease from the infected children?And at the worst, in 50 years it comes out that it is actually very safe! Then you’ll feel like a moron- simple as that.

Fun fact, the big bang theory which I was taught and believed in for all my life, might be under review now…and by under review I mean it might have not happened….

Horray for science!…so if they can get these things wrong with so many decades of saying this theory is right and anyone who doesn’t believe in it is a nutjob….then what about vaccines. I will credit that vaccines can be tested and we know from experiments done on populations under the guise of vaccinations, that it’s real testable science so therefore it’s more sciencey?? And The Universe can’t be tested and such but it’s still real sciencey science…Wait what?

8) Well then whiney-pants blogger momma, why did you vaccinate then?

With all that heavy stuff and my complete distrust in the government I still vaccinated my kids- yes I totally did. Cried and prayed like crazy, but I did. Because in the end, I would rather my children live than be at risk of death. I know, I know how could I possibly do it with news like this:, I was scared. Because I know saying that’s not happening in the ‘west’  (however shallow as that may sound) might not be so correct. Our western population has been tested on before in the past, and there’s nothing to stop them from doing it.The United States took in Nazi scientists who committed horrible serious crimes against the Jews during the holocaust in experimenting on them medically with god knows what, and hired them into different research fields, such as science, medicine and military after Hitler was brought down….we’re going to trust this?(This article is a bit hard to read considering the writer almost relishes the science behind the holocaust)
List of medical shots for baby concept of vaccination
Here is my reason:
c) If you ask any maternity nurse who has seen children come in struggling to breath, hooked up to wires, tubes and heart monitors, or having to sit down with the parents to deliver the bad news or call the morgue for pick up…you will know, that no matter what, you still want to give them a fighting chance to be alive. It is true, that they might still get really sick, they might be injected with something designed chemically to hurt them in other ways, but living here that was a risk I had to take. Because of the amount we travel, the place we live in (British Columbia being a hub for travelers from different Asian countries that seem to always carry that damn measles bug!) I chose to do it. NO just because I did it, doesn’t mean you have to do it too.9) You are the Parent!You are the parent. You did everything you can from the moment of conception to birthing to this moment to create the safest possible space for your children. You want to keep them happy and healthy, and vaccinations really scare you because there has been so much hoopla around it. But don’t be confused. Because there are facts that we can’t dismiss. Yes vaccines do prevent, how much and how effectively is the contradiction though.Your babies are yours and you have to sit down and map out a lifestyle. If you don’t get these vaccinations and eat GMO’s and expose them to chemicals- guess what you’re killing your kids anyways.Here’s a fine example of how Corporations decide to make choices for us.

Yeah….and this is something that is readily available for purchase, no warning, nothing. Even though they’re using something that is known to cause cancer, they’re not going to do anything about it, and you’re going to go ahead and use it.

So think about it clearly. Being anti-vaccine or pro-vaccine isn’t the bubble we should be putting people in. You are either pro-information or not. You are either pro-lifestyle choices or not. In your course of life, you will be about different things and change your mind about different things a lot, but one thing remains the same. We all want to live as long as possible as healthy as possible and want the same for our kids.

Also keep in mind that everything in your environment has been in contact with some sort of chemical- from when you’re born to your death. Everything from your food, your water, the clothes you wear, to the street you live in. People forget that vaccinations aren’t the only thing out there that can seriously make us ill. Wifi connections are readily available everywhere- that’s extra radiation following you everywhere increasing your cancer risk. Own a cell phone? Yep you’re probably going to increase brain cancer risk. If you live in downtown of any city, chances are your cancer risk will also increase due to car pollution. The foods you eat have been sprayed to death with different chemicals and an organic label doesn’t mean it’s actually organic, it can still be from a GMO seed (which is guaranteed to have been sprayed chemically).

If you drink organic tea’s, the leaves were collected from 3rd world nations, chances are you are drinking industrial run-off, and if it’s in a tea bag- well that’s plastic you’re ingesting. The clothes you wear? Is it from China or a 3rd world country? Well then say hello to the thin film of chemical spray that doesn’t wash off. Everything will kill you on this planet unless you’re off the grid out in the middle of nowhere. And that’s the argument a lot of Vaccine pushers make to anti-vaccine people. And to this I agree, everything can kill you, thats true.

But my goal in life is to reduce as much of that risk of terrible diseases as possible. If a patient is at risk of being diabetic because their parent has it, doesn’t mean they will for sure have it. You can keep yourself in check with diet and exercise and living a healthy lifestyle, and at best wait out that diabetes until your old age. The point is you wanna give yourself and your family the best chance. So you’re already buying organic and making healthy meals at home, and you’ve even got a garden out back to supply you with good food. Heck you might have even switched from wifi to direct cable plug in, and you’re even saving money to switch to organic cotton clothes, etc etc  So why wouldn’t you want to know why these vaccines are causing the kind of injury they are- rare or not. Why aren’t you given all of the information that should be your right to have.

Why wouldn’t you want to know why big pharma companies have contradictory information and ignoring any other study conducted. Cell phone companies insist that radiation from a cell phone can’t cause any cancer….Um have you seen the multiple other studies that are saying, there is in fact a link?

List of medical shots for baby concept of vaccination ClinicalTrials

We wouldn’t be good parents if we didn’t ask questions and didn’t question the authority that governs us. They are supposed to be elected officials into the government there to serve you, you have no fear in demanding answers or change.

That is your damn right. You are a citizen and you have every right to know ALL of the information. Not just the science based research the companies themselves did. Such as the scientists who found that eating GMO’s caused tumors in rats. Remember now, his research isn’t something Canadian Food and Safety is accepting to rethink GMO, in fact instead they kept the big pharma science and have now allowed for GMO salmon to be sold in our stores. And how much science went behind that GMO salmon to be considered safe by the FDA? The study was based on 6 fish…Yeah.

And the real question is, why are things being labeled safe, when in fact there is no long term testing on humans and we don’t actually know the true impact on a humans health. Enter this GMO scientist who found rats with tumors, who should have changed our governments mindset when it comes to ‘acceptable science’.  The point is, the truth is sketchy on these studies done by Big Pharma, and the science however sensible isn’t without flaw. Cause remember now Monsanto and these GMO companies say with their science and studies say GMO’s are safe… we know, they’re not. So why are they so arrogantly tooting the vaccines are safe horn when there is a reasonable and very real doubt. Why isn’t anything changing when things come to light?

If the science on ‘science solid’ things like GMO’s are sketchy made by the same people who have their hands dipped in Big Pharma, then why can’t vaccinations also be sketchy especially when there is so much ‘fraud’ surrounding them. At the end of the day, the same people make money. Feed you to get sick, vaccinate you to prevent getting sick, while injecting you with something that could make your sicker….it’s a dirty game but it’s happened in our history before, there is no saying it’s not happening right now.

We want to live free, not just talk about freedom. Which is why we need to push our governments to do a less bias job in telling us the truth, and not just fixate on how much money they can make off of sickness and disease. We need to force pharma groups to work in not just the best interest of money, but in the interest of actually saving lives without costing so many lives with so many lies.

So keep that in your mind. And make your choice. To vaccinate or not vaccinate. That is the question. There might not be one true answer.

Now after reading this, you might be scared and even more terrified and even more confused on what to do. All I can say, is do the best you can. You live here with what you have and are being dealt the cards you got. Make the best decision you can. Don’t be afraid of the system, or other random people on line. People will think or do whatever they want anyways, you don’t need to climb on to any pro or anti anything bandwagon. Just do what is right for you.

I’m sure you will make the best and most right choice for your child and your family.

Good luck!

Life Lesson for Mommy #38:


It’s Easier the 2nd Time

Other mom’s always told me that things are easier with the second child. Makes sense. Because you already know everything from the first. What kinds of poops are normal, when to worry about a fever, what foods to start feeding, how to nurse etc  With my daughter, I reacted to everything. She cried for a second, I’d respond a second later. I read tons of baby books, went online to research like a maniac about all the things I could do to give my daughter the best possible start. Breast fed as long as I could, organic homemade food, no sweets, taught her sign language, Mozart playing all the time, piano lessons, vacuumed everyday, organic clothes- the list freaking goes on. I did a lot so she would benefit. Took care of her so precisely because that’s usually what first time parents do- do things so meticulously for your precious first baby.

After hearing these mothers who said it was easier with the second, I relaxed a bit, thinking that it wasn’t going to be as hard, or emotionally and physically draining as the first, because I already know what to do, how to do it and when to do it. It wasn’t going to be a whole new learning process.

LIES! All lies!
It doesn’t get easier with the second- actually it gets harder. Because now you have a newborn who needs constant attention (boob feeding, diapers, skin time, more diapers, more boob feedings) but you also have the toddler- who is also in need of constant attention (love me, pay attention to me, look at me, let me hold the baby, is this a power socket?…) hahaha?

Dear God, what the hell have I done. It’s like in these last 3 years since my daughter was born, my mind suddenly forgot the every hour breast feedings, the never ending epic diapers, the constant worry about if he’s breathing, if he’s okay when he’s gassy… NOW on top of that, picture a toddler bouncing around, trying to kiss the baby, hold him, anxious about getting the kind of attention she’s used to. To top it off, my anxiety of getting him circumcised, the lack of sleep, and of course that toddler bouncing around- ignoring what I ask her to do, testing the limits of discipline, pushing all the patient buttons I have. Argh, who are these people saying it’s easier the second time? What kind of children are these women popping out that they think this is easier the second time around? Because I’m not seeing it, it’s harder then when it was just my daughter. Dear God, so much harder. I feel like I’m stretched thin, so is my mind, body and nipples; all of it just wilting away wondering why is this not easier. Sometimes I find myself curled in the corner facing the wall saying to myself ‘they said it was easier, they said it was easier’….hahaha?

The truth is, it’s not easier when you have a second kid, it only gets harder, more complicated; and more stressful. I’m having to rely on my support system greatly. Things like home cook food for my daughter flew out the window because I’m so tired. Now if she skips dinner and wants a cupcake, after explaining to her why she needs to eat dinner; after she’s thrown a tantrum waking up her baby brother, I give her the damn cup cake. “Put away your toys” has become just please move the toys to a corner so I can walk. All the things I worked so hard to do with my first, literally went out the door. I imagine as my second child grows up, and he becomes a bit more independent it will get easier, but until they both get into school, this is going to be my life, a whole lot of crazy.

My vacuuming the floor every second day, turned into whenever possible. My home cooked meals became semi home cooked with things thrown into a pot and left to cook itself. My freshly folded laundry is now live out of the basket of clean clothes tossed in it. My me time has become play with my daughter while breast feeding my son time. I can’t tell you what’s happening to my mental well being because I haven’t had the time to think about if I’m mental or not. And this is only 22 days in since I gave birth….

So listen up second time preggo’s, it doesn’t get easier, it gets harder. REAL HARD. But somehow you will get through it, somehow you will keep your sanity. The moment your kids fall asleep, you will gaze upon them with loving eyes and realize that yes this is hard, real hard, super horribly hard, but wow; you made these wonderful little human beings. And they are a piece of you, the best piece of you.

So stay strong! And the next time you hear someone telling you it’s easier the second time around, shake that person and scream LIES!!!! But you’re ready for it. And one day, 3 or 4 years down the road, you will forget all the trouble of raising 2 kids, and stupidly think you want a 3rd or 4th….until that time, enjoy these moments now. As hard as it is, you’ll miss them when they grow up and no longer need your constant care.

And it’s not so bad, especially when my daughter cuddles me and tells me she loves mama; or when my son looks at me. I think to myself, nope, this isn’t too bad at all.
Good Luck!

Life Lesson For Mommey #35:

Parenting Techniques

There are several different types of parenting styles and techniques out there. And when I was searching for the type that would fit my daughter, I realized there are so many types, how do I know which one is right for me and my kid.

I like the “Western” style of parenting. Where the child is given loads of love, positive reinforcement and encouragement, no shaming, no hitting, no screaming. But is this really realistic. I mean especially during the time after my car accident, I was really struggling with pain and some emotional issues that I was having, it was a tough time dealing with myself. Add a angry toddler who was suddenly cut off from breastfeeding and no play time with me; it was even harder. It wasn’t her fault that she was misbehaving, and while my husband was great in dealing with both her and I, and a business; things just got out of hand many times.

I found myself, when she wasn’t listening, getting more and more frustrated. And eventually I would yell, or send her to a time out looking very angry myself. She could feel those feelings of mine, my anxiety, my anger towards her misbehaving and I felt horrible.

This isn’t the kind of parent I wanted to be. It only made me more mentally exhausted. I really had to learn some techniques to deal with my pain and my mental place. So the quest to find a parenting style that could work with our current situation began.

And I found it. Ethnic parenting. Combine with the ‘Western style” I found a good blend.

I needed her to understand where I was on certain things, and what I was willing to compromise on. I realized I was being too strict, but not setting a proper schedule for her also made her frustrated. Because our days were so different everyday with appointments and business, she didn’t have a ‘quiet time’ or a ‘reading time’. I even got her watching youtube programs and playing games on my phone- which I swore I would not do. And here I was doing it. It was out of circumstance and desperation, but learning different things from these 2 parenting styles I learned to create a balance that worked for me and her.

So for example, when she watched a program on my laptop, this was a good time for me to cuddle up to her, make funny voices talk along side the program engaging her without having to move around too much- which was perfect for my neck and hip! I was still spending time with her, not the ideal way, but at least still interacting and having fun. I would bring her stuffed animals to program time and ask questions as we watched. It actually ended up teaching her a lot about behaviors, the right things to do and the wrong things to do. It was actually very beneficial.

“Quiet Time” was what I gave her when she was just too out of hand from being tired but not wanting to sleep. She stopped taking naps basically after my car accident because we simply couldn’t invest the time to get her to take a nap. So another bad habit started from it. But I discovered quiet time.

It was great! Instead of giving her time out or threatening her with a time out, which just made her more angry and led to a stressful tantrum; which was hard on my neck, Quiet time was great. She would sit down with a few books, and we would cuddle together and read them. Like with the programs, I’d ask her about the pictures, to count the different things like flowers etc It calmed her down and made it a lot easier for me to sit with her on the couch then wrestle her on the floor taking her to time out.

You’re probably wondering where does the ethnic part come in? Well it comes in here. Being stern. I let Omera get away with a lot. In order for me to establish things like quiet time, and for her to understand there were certain things I would not compromise with; I had to get ethnic on her.

When I say put away all your toys, it has to mean put away all your toys. No compromise and no clapping and cheering her on for every little toy she put away. I thought I was being positive and encouraging her, what I was doing was creating a self entitled kid. That all she had to do was put in little effort in doing something  (what she was supposed to do anyway), and get praised for it.

So I had to stop. The ethnic way is clear, I tell her a couple of times, if she drags her feet or doesn’t do it, then I take her for a time out. Or I tell her that if I pick up her toys, I take them away. That usually did the job. She learned very quickly that I was serious and that I was not going to keep telling her over and over again, giving her multiple chances, and in the end accept her apology but no change would happen. I knew, that I had to take control of the parenting here. I’m not her friend, I’m her mother. And if I want to raise a decent person, then I really need to teach her that when I say something, she should listen.

Unlike the Western style, I didn’t feel bad about raising my voice a couple of notches. I felt more in control of the situation especially when she refused to take me seriously. I wasn’t yelling but I wasn’t using the ‘calm voice’. My voice is projected clear and assertive so Omera understood the difference in when a person is upset and when they are not. Some people might not agree with that, but it’s what worked for me, and it didn’t change her emotionally; she just learned to respect me a bit better and learned that I was in charge.

Ethnic part of this is being in charge and owning the situation and teaching her to own it as well. Not over glorifying every small thing she does, not making an issue out of every small achievement. I learned to give her positive reinforcement with just a simple, good job. Instead of changing my voice to something like a high pitched squeal, I just pet her head now and say good job.

The ethnic technique really helped when my husband took her to our place of prayer during friday prayers. In a mosque with so many other people worshiping she still would wonder around and try to climb my husband and made noise. It was disturbing other people. Despite what other people were saying, and that was to talk to her after the prayer was done, or to stop taking her; I implemented our ‘new blended’ technique. We would interrupt our prayer at the mosque or at home, and make her sit down quietly or follow our actions, or walk her to a time out without making a peep. The reason I didn’t talk to her, nor did my husband as we walked her to the time out or when we stopped to make her sit down; is because she already knew from the countless times we told her that she was wrong; but was pressing her luck. Kids do that, they like to test. And she was used to us just lecturing her, but this time we simply would take her hand, or gently make her sit down.

She actually responded to this really well. While others in the mosque would tell my husband to not interrupt his prayers to do this, I insisted he do it. And voila! In 1 week, from being consistent at home and at the mosque, she stop making noise, followed the prayer along well; and didn’t even try moving away from the prayer mat.

I applied this to eating out. But unlike the mosque where it’s supposed to be a quiet place so I stayed quiet even when teaching her, the restaurant is different. I could talk to her and tell her what was going to happen. If she sat down properly like a big girl, she could have her programs to watch, if she didn’t; then her father would take her back into the car and she can sit there until she is ready to come back in. And we can do that as many times as she needed. Eventually she realized this wasn’t fun, it’s more fun to sit and watch her program and eat her dinner. She picked this up fast.

There are other parts of this, but I think you get the hint.

Be calm, but be a parent, you’re there to teach her to be a good person; not just a good child. You’re there to hold her hand, but let her learn on her own. If you guide her every move, you’re actually hindering them. To raise a moral well behaved child, means being assertive when you need to, making the proper exceptions instead of being inflexible. Teaching her what good behavior could mean for her, not physical awards like I was handing out, but a hug, a kiss, praise that’s worthy of the effort she put in. Sometimes we over-glorify their achievements too much because of the “Western Technique”  creates a spoiled kid who thinks that they should get praise for every thing they do right. And that’s not what you want to create.

So mix up some different styles, and be balanced and consistent.

Good Luck

Life Lesson for Mommy #25:


Time outs?
There are a number of ways to deal with a tantrum or naughty child. And you really have to try different things consistently for awhile before you know which one is the right one for you and your child(ren).
No matter which method you chose, make sure all parents, including any other caregivers do the same thing when the child does something ‘naughty’ or else the discipline chain breaks. Time out doesn’t have to be a ‘bad moment’, it can be a positive one for you and the child if you sit together with them in the corner or a certain spot on the playmat. You talk them through the time out explaining what they did wrong, or why their behavior was ‘naughty’ and what you were expecting from them, and what they should and shouldn’t do in that situation.
For example, the most recent time out I gave Omera, involved her throwing her Crayola pens everywhere. I gave her 3 warnings to not throw them anymore because it’s dangerous to throw things around and it makes a mess. She continued anyway. So I took her hand and told her, mommy’s giving you a time out because you kept throwing the pens when I told you that it was not good to etc etc. I told her exactly how many minutes we were going to sit in our time out for, and during that entire time I re-explained again why she was getting the time out etc. I gave her a book that I read to her and that was it. When the time out was over, I asked her to pick up all the pens and put them where they belong. And she did it.
This kind of response takes time and A WHOLE lot of effort, but it does eventually pay off.
This might not be the right type of discipline for you and may not work for your child. Some experts have conflicting opinions about ‘the time out affect’ and suggest instead to take the child away from the situation, to a different spot in the house or outside, and distract attention by playing something else. But other experts cite that actually might do them more harm, giving them control over the situation and not ‘learning’ normal behaviorisms of right and wrong- which adult life is mainly comprised of.
If they don’t learn ‘what is wrong and what is right’ and instead just distract into something else, they never learn important lessons like how to control their anger, how to deal with problems and how to overcome obstacles etc
There are other methods out there, but whatever form you decide to take, never hit a child (a small pat on the hand is really up to you and what you think is appropriate). Don’t lock them in any rooms even if they are fully lit. Don’t threaten them with ‘if you don’t do this, I will take away that, or I will do this’. It’s better to explain the rules, like “Please don’t do this because it makes a mess or is dangerous or isn’t nice etc. “If you can’t calm down mommy and you will have to have a time out and that will be boring right.”


Engage them with conversation and explanation, it might look like they don’t care, but it pays off as they grow. They get used to conversation rather then confrontation.
And stay the course! It’s hard but it really does pay off. And of course you’ll have days where it just won’t work and they just won’t calm down- don’t sweat it, everyone has those days. I had one at the pool – and what a tantrum it was, my my.
Most importantly, understand that your kid actually isn’t trying to do anything bad, they are just testing the boundaries and engaging you into teaching them, so keep calm, raise your voice just enough to show that you are serious but not loud or screaming. Always have a good body language (no finger pointing) and look determined (eyes are a dead give away if you’re going to fold or not haha)
And at the end of every disciplinary action, always have a hug and I love you. So there’s always an understanding that your love hasn’t decreased.
Good Luck!